How to improve your confidence

Watching my indexson ‘drop in’ at the skate park used to make my heart jump into my throat, but now I watch with admiration. The amount of times he attempts a trick, over and over and over again, falling and collecting another bruise to add to his already scraped knees. Bouncing up to do it again, until he masters it. The glee and broad smile when he finally gets that trick is worth bottling. He has a real confidence when it comes to anything to do with being active. He has always been the kid that picks up things quickly, not however in the classroom.

In the classroom or doing his homework he is a whole different person. He is withdrawn, distracted, and frustrated. He slams his pencil down with the slightest bit of ‘hard work’. It is so awful to be part of I have completely scraped homework. I would much prefer him being outside kicking a ball, being happy then trying to chain him to the kitchen bench to work on his grammar.

I’m sure we can all relate to this in similar ways. We have different things we feel more confident in then others.

Why cant we master the confidence across the board?

Well we can…if we believe we can.

When doing his homework or even playing a board game at home, My son will say things like ‘I’m dumb’ It totally breaks my heart wide open. But if he is talking about playing rugby he will say things like ‘I cant wait until the season starts’.

He believes he is a good rugby player, so he gets chosen to play rep.

He believes he sucks at school work, the moment the teacher says open your books his whole brain shuts down, and he has a ‘I cant do it’ mentality.

If we want to do well or have confidence in a certain area of our life we have to believe we can do it. If you go into something thinking you cant, well guess what? you wont.

The way we think is crucial to our performance. When we think negatively about our abilities, our brain actually shuts down and we cant access the useful problem solving part of our brain that can give us the momentum to keep going and work through it.

If we think we can do it, our brain opens up and we have the use of persistence, mental strength, problem solving and creativity. When we have these on board, then we can do anything.

It’s all about the way we talk to ourselves. So if you have something you would like to improve your confidence or performance in, then tell yourself you can do it. Imagine yourself doing it well and being happy. Even if it feels fake or inauthentic to begin with, keep practicing, and if you feel yourself struggling with it, just keep telling yourself, I’ve got this, I can do this.

Your performance will improve, your confidence will grow, and before long you will be smashing goals you didn’t even know you could do.

We are our thoughts. So, what do you choose to think today?