Big thick, dark and angry tentacles growing out of your mind.
whipping you in the face, trying to reach your neck so they can stop you from living.
Taking your happiness, making you feel as bad as they look.
constantly tormenting, twisting everything you say, shaking everything you do.
and You…..helpless…enslaved by this monster that lives inside of you, this monster that is you!
Their words sound like this:
‘I SHOULD have made more of myself by now, I’m a loser, I’ve made a complete fool of myself, I’m a loser, I’m a bitch, I know nothing about nothing, I’m a hopeless mother, I’m a loser, I have no will power, I have to try harder, I’m a loser, Why did I do that?…what an idiot, I’m a fat slob, I look shocking, I’m a loser, an absolute fucking loser, a pig, a bitch, a loser.’
Continuously these tentacles, whipping and chasing you down, they never tire they beat you into submission. These tentacles feed of your low self worth.
You want to escape.
So you tell yourself:
‘As of tomorrow I’m going to stick to that diet, start that fitness regime. I’m going to stop screaming at the kids, and have more sex with my husband.’
This may quiet the tentacles down for a while, as they sit back and wait for you to FAIL!
The new Dawn Breaks.
‘ I don’t have time to go to gym today, because I will have to pick Josie up from Basket ball’
‘Trish next door is having chemo today, so I’ll make her family a casserole and drop that over to them.’
‘Reading groups are on at school today, I’ll cancel my appointment and go to that instead.’
Welcome to Self Sabotage 101.
Tentacles: 1 You: 0
Now I want you to imagine underneath those tentacles, and down the deep dark vortex to the very core of that Monster in your mind. Is a little girl. Scared, lonely, sad, desperate and starving to be loved.
A little girl that wants to be FREE
FREE to be happy
FREE to be healthy
FREE to be the best she, she can be.
The next time you hear the words in your mind ‘I’m a loser’.
Kneel down to that little girl meet her eyes and tell her that she is powerful beyond the universe.
Give her the love that she so desperately needs. Wrap yourself around her, protect that little girl, nurture her as you would your own, after all.
she is your own!
And as you do this you will feel those tentacles transcend into wings to reach new heights of happiness, acceptance, love ad compassion.
Fly little one fly!